Yo species.

(I tuned into this part of the conversation)

N: You do look Chinese though.
J: Shut up white Chinese.
S: Aren’t you Indian or something?
J: what if I is?
S: Don’t you get money cause you have Indian in you?
J: What is you talking about?
K: If you a certain type of species, you get money.
S: Yeah, yo species. Like White, Black, Indian, Chinese, Mexican.
J: Nah, my brother’s baby momma from Iraq though.
——–


Snoop, my brother from another mother.

One of my students, who has skipped my class for the first 3 weeks of school; came in today and this conversation transpired:

J: You know who you look like?
Mr. C: Who?
J: You look like a white version of snoop dogg.
S: He do look like snoop dogg, you right.
Mr. C: Okay, thank you?
J: I’m just sayin’
————–



Where you from?

M: Hey, where you come from?
Mr. C: (confused) What do you mean?
M:  You know, where you come from?
Mr. C: Do you mean what school did I used to teach at?
M:  No, what country is you from?
Mr. C: This one. I’m from here.
M:  Oh. (pause) You look like you is from Spain or something.

———————


Swag

This is the last week of school before the break and I am trying to get my students to take and finish their finals so I can grade them.

With a mug of tea in my left hand, and the final and pencil in right hand, I enter the gym to track down one of my students to give her the final to finish.
this is what transpired:

(walk up to student)
————
Mr. C: this needs to be finished before you leave (hands final and pencil)
T: (begrudgingly) Thank you Mr. C.

(walking back towards the gym doors)

N: You drinkin’ dat tea? (bouncing basketball)
Mr. C: Yep.

(continue walking towards the hall)

T: I like that swag you got.
Mr. C: thanks.

(exit through the doors)
(side note: i’m wearing an olive corduroy sport jacket, with gray slacks and skateboard shoes.)


Veganism/Hannibalism

K: “… he don’t eat meat.”
J: “He’s a vedatan?
K: “it’s vegatan.”
Mr.C: “I’m vegan actually, it’s different. I don’t eat anything that comes from an animal.”
K: “Yeah that mean he eats human.”
J: “He’s a Hannibal?”
R: “He come home and eat a human arm for dinner.”
Mr. C: “It’s cannibal, and no.”
—————-



A Justin Bieber Christmas

One of my seniors walked in my room sporting a justin bieber shirt:

Mr. C: “What happened T? Were all of your other shirts dirty?”
T: Blank condescending stare.
Mr. C: “If that was a Christmas present, it’s okay, Christmas is over.”
She left my classroom.
———