Drunk is the Legal Drinking Age.

1st Block with my Seniors:
(warning contains abusive/offensive language)
C showed up for the 2nd time this semester and started this conversation with me:
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C: Man i’m drunk as fuck.
Mr. C: (silent stare)
C: You know Old English?
Mr. C: What?
C: The beer.
Mr. C: Sure.
C: I drank 10 Old English today. This morning waiting for the bus, I had 2 Newports. My homey, he got ’em for me, cause I can’t get ’em.
Mr. C: Yeah, because how old do you have to be to drink C?
C: 22.
Mr. C: Well 21, but that just further proves my point.
———-


The Terminator

4th block:

K walks out of the gym looking sad and walks past me:

Mr. C: What happened?
K: (whimpering) It bit me.
Mr. C: What? What bit you?
K: A bat.
Mr. C: A bat, really?
K: Yeah we gotta bat in the gym. Can I call the terminator?
Mr. C: (Pause) Well the exterminator is for bugs, i don’t think they handle bats K.
———————


Respect

1st block with my Seniors:

One of the teachers was absent this morning so I absorbed their class, which included 3 of my seniors from last semester that I don’t have this semester. While in the middle of cooking omelets, some students were around my desk being mischievous.
—————–
Mr. C: J get out of my chair, and S quit opening my drawers!
M: I ain’t gonna lie, you is one of our favorite teachers Mr. C. We wouldn’t steal from you.
Mr. C: I appreciate that M.
(fist bump)

—————-

Respect.


Lockdown/Drug Ring

morning

total lockdown security procedure at my school.
the police are here with search dogs going from classroom to classroom.
classrooms are locked and i’m holding my students until further notice.

afternoon

lockdown is over.  it was just a small drug ring. they confiscated the drugs and took care of those involved.

all quiet on the western front.
classes now resume as per usual.

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Small Change/High Heel Jordan’s

1st Block with my Seniors:

—————

J: I got a whole buncha shoes. Bra I got so many shoes I could give ’em away bra. I wear ’em one time and I just give ’em away.
Mr. C: What? Why do you get the shoes if you don’t really want them? That’s expensive.
J: That’s small change for me. I swear I got so much money bra. I can be givin’ my friends fitty for they birthday main. My baby momma got so many heels.
R: I fixin’ to get my baby momma some high heel jordan’s.
Mr. C: Really? Like Michael Jordan heels?
R: Yeah.
Mr. C: Wow.

————-


Slow Shotguns

In 2nd block, I listened as my 8th graders debated how powerful shotguns were: (contains offensive language)

———————
C: Shotguns ain’t powerful bra.
J: Like a pump-
C: A pump is a shotgun.
J: Pump is like a shotgun.
C: A pump is a shotgun. You slow.
J: They different kinds of shotguns bra.
D: A shotgun gon’ shoot your head off bra.
J: The bullets spread all out. The motherfucka’s gon’ stay in there until they hit you.

Bell rings.

———-


Boxer Briefs and Chubby Chase


In 2nd Block, I tuned into this part of the conversation with my 8th graders.
(warning contains abusive/offensive language)

—————-
D: Dude was in his boxers.
J: The fuck?
M: Haha! Boxer briefs lookin’ ass nigga.
J: I wasn’t in my boxers bra.
D: You was, and you was talkin to this big girl.
J: What big girl I talk to?
D: You know who I’m talking ’bout.
J: What big girl I talk to?! Bra!
M: Chubby chase!
J: I just said I like girls with a little meat on dey bones.
(silence)
J: Pinky got a little meat on her bones.
D: She big bra.
M: She is bra.
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