Bi the Way.

Before dismissal with Juniors and Seniors

D: I’m bisexual. I like girls and boys.
S: You had sex with a girl?
D: No, I don’t wanna do that.
J: Then you are just friends.
S: How is you bi if you never had sex with a woman?
J: You aren’t bisexual if you don’t want to have sex with women.
S: I’m bi if I slept with a woman and ate her coochy right?
J: I want to ask you a personal question.
S: Have I touched her with my fingers?
J: No–
Mr. C: (interrupts) This is not the time or the place to have this discussion.

You Done Went Back to the Past

I was comparing two photos with the 11th Graders:
Mr. C: Does this photo look better in color or black and white?
P: Black and white. It makes it look all historic and shit, like you done went back to the 1980’s in the 1950’s.

Wigglin’ Trees

4th Block with Seniors:

T: Is it gonna rain?
Mr. C: I don’t think so, if it rains it will probably be later tonight.
T: Why are the trees wigglin’ then?
Mr. C: Because of the wind.
T: Oh.


In a Senior discussion about suicide bombers:

Mr. C: Well some suicide bombers attach bombs to their chest and use cell phones to detonate them.
D: Damn.
Mr. C: I wish I could show you guys the hurt locker.
D: Why can’t you?
Mr. C: There is a lot of language and violence.
D: We grown ass men.
Mr. C: Well it’s rated R.
D: Nah its PG-14.
Mr. C: Haha.
D: That’s not real is it?
Mr. C: No it’s PG-13.

Skating Like Bart Simpson

1st Block:

J: You see my shoes?
Mr. C: Yep they are skate shoes. I noticed them when you first got them.
J: Man my skateboard broke.
Mr. C: Oh yeah?
J: Either that or I need to tighten a screw.
Mr. C: Okay.
J: It’s cause I went off the roof onto a car.
Mr. C: (Thinking he is joking) What like Bart Simpson? In the opening of the show?
J: Yeah but I did it for real. And I didn’t fall. I went off the roof and rode down the windshield and then went down the hill in my neighborhood.
Mr. C: Wow.

My Daddy Ugly as Hell

3rd Block:
R: My daddy ugly though, I’m just gon’ tell you.
He’s ugly as hell.
You be like “Yo daddy ugly.”
And I be like “Nigga you tellin’ me this like I don’ know my daddy ugly.”

Right from Left

Overheard in 4th Block:

S: I’m gon’ get a tattoo right here. (points to left cheek)
T: Of what?
S: A tear drop.
B: Who you kill?
S: Nobody.
K: Somebody see you out on the street they straight murk you.
T: What it mean?
S: It mean somebody die in the family, somebody you was close to.
K: Ah. right side for murder, left side for death in the family.

Rice Broccoli Treats

T: You ever had them broccoli thangs?
Mr. C: No…?
T: You know a rice krispie treat?
Mr. C: Yeah.
T:  It’s like that, but in broccoli form. It got cheese in the middle.
Mr. C: That sounds interesting.
T: It’s good. My sister gets them from the Mexican market. She eat like a Mexican.
Mr. C: You mean she likes Mexican food.
T: Yeah, when I first saw them, I didn’t think I’d like them. But I tried one and I was like “Damn that’s not bad.”
Mr. C: You see, vegetables aren’t bad. You never know until you try it.
T: Yeah.

Hitler was a meth head.


R: Hitler was on that meth.
Mr. C: Yeah?
R: I got proof!
(We look it up and Hitler was actually given methamphetamine by a physician for years before his death.)
Mr. C: Wow. You learn something new everyday.

Students teaching teachers.

Say No to Gangs

1st block with juniors:

While walking down the hall.
T: Man Mr. C, don’t ever get in a gang.
Mr. C: I never did.
T: It’s like school.
Mr. C: You mean because you have to go, even if you don’t want to.
T: Yeah. (pulls out a piece of paper with writing.)
I have to memorize all of this in 2 days.
Mr. C: Initiation?
T: Yeah.