Pills, Pills, Pills

After refusing to take their medicine in the morning:

S: I ain’t taking no more pills in my life.
Mr. C: What about medicine?
S: I ain’t never taking any pill, prescribed, or not.
Mr. C: Well you have to take your medicine here at school.
S: Nah bra. I’m not smoking no more weed either.
Mr. C: Well that’s a good thing.
S: Every time I smoke weed, and I go to the hospital, somebody done laced it. Look at my tongue. It’s white ain’t it?
Mr. C: Yeah but that could be from anything.
S: The doctor looked at my tongue, and said it was white, and it’s cause somebody laced it.
Mr. C: I don’t really think that’s accurate.
S: All the pills at my house I had, I threw them away.
Mr. C: Were they all yours?
S: Yeah bra. I’m getting tired of people saying I’m overdosing on pills.
Mr. C: You can’t overdose if you take the amount prescribed. Did you take too many?
S: Nah, I took one and sold the rest.
Mr. C: Well they thought you took all of them. That’s why they had to take you to the hospital. It’s dangerous.
S: I didn’t take all those damn pills.
Mr. C: Well now the problem is that you were selling them.
S: Yeah.


A student walks in and begins to tell me what happened the day before.

S: I found out something yesterday.
Mr. C: What’s that?
S: I have ecstasy in my system.
Mr. C: Right now?
S: No someone done laced my marijuana with ecstasy. Doctor told me that.
Mr. C: I didn’t know you could smoke ecstasy.
S: The doctor said I could have died.
Mr. C: If you do too much you can die from any kind of drugs.
S: For a minute I thought I wasn’t coming back here.

Cuckoo for C a n n a b i s

One of my students has just learned how to search for things on the internet and came across an interesting article.
S: Hey Mr. C, what is  c  a  n  n  a  b  i–
Mr. C: Cannabis, it’s marijuana. What are you working on?
S: Ah they done gave him chocolate with weed in it.
Mr. C: Look, get your work finished and then you can look up drugs.
S: Okay.


S: Is my ear supposed to be this big?
Mr. C: I don’t know. It looks swollen.
S: It hurts like hell.
Mr. C: Yeah. When did you get it pierced?
S: I done it myself.
Mr. C: Well that could be a reason why it hurts. But stop touching it, it’s not making it any better. It could be infected.
S: Guess what though.
Mr. C: What?
S: I poured some alcohol on it.


A student starts to escalate before dismissal:
S: I don’t give a fuck
Mr. C: Let’s watch the language.
S: Man I can curse if I want.
Mr. C: And you know the consequences of your actions.
S: It’s Friday, I ain’t gotta job and I ain’t got shit to do, so fuck you.
(Throws a chair and walks out of the room.)

Middle Finger

Bringing class work to one of my juniors in ISS:

Mr. C: Do you have a pencil?
S: (Points middle finger at me)
Mr. C: Are you going to write with your middle finger?
S: Fuck you.
Mr. C: I’ll take that as a no. I’ll come back and get your work at the end of the class period.
S: Aight.

Illegal Contraband

Morning in Homeroom:
K: I gotta question.
Mr. C: Yeah?
K: What is illegal contraband?
Mr. C: In the building or outside?
K: In here.
Mr. C: Weapons, drugs, pretty much anything you bring in the school that isn’t supposed to be here.
K: Oh.
Mr. C: Why?
K: One of the other teachers asked me that and I didn’t know what it meant so I asked you.
Mr. C: Well do you have illegal contraband?
K: I don’t know I might.
Mr. C: (Glare)
K: I’m just kidding.