Toothpick with a Mustache

2nd block:
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K: Mr. C, you skinny as hell.
Mr. C: Oh really?
R: He a noodle with clothes on.
K: Ha, a toothpick with a mustache.
Mr. C: That’s funny.
R: You straight fired on his ass.
Mr. C: Yes, and I am so offended. (hint of sarcasm)
K: Nah, we just kidding Mr. C.
Mr. C: Well I take being skinny as a compliment, so it doesn’t bother me.
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Lockdown

An email from my principal.
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All students remain in classrooms with doors locked and blinds drawn.

The Police Department and the SWAT team are serving a warrant at a neighboring house.  Because we are not aware of the situation and have a report of police with drawn guns, we issued the lockdown alert as a precaution.  AT NO TIME were shots fired.  The Police Department came to the building and notified us that there was no need for lockdown at that our safety was not in jeopardy.

Thank you for your prompt response in helping our students to remain calm for this brief lockdown.
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Ham, Bacon and Cheese

A student escalated this morning and became physically violent towards other students.
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K: M was going ham this mornin’.
Mr. C: Oh yeah?
K: Yeah he was going ham, bacon and cheese.
Mr. C: What does that mean anyway, going ham?
K: It mean they went crazy.
Mr. C: Oh.
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Because You Told Me

Going over Subject Verb Agreement with Seniors:
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Mr. C: What did you get for number 6?
S: Have.
Mr. C: Good, do you know why it is have?
S: Because you told me it was.
Mr. C: Well I’m not going to be telling you answers for the rest of your life, so we have to figure this out.
T: Haha.
S: Stop laughing T, it ain’t funny!
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100th post!

100 posts since February 25th, 2012.

woot woot!

Thanks to the readers who visit the site.

 


Fish Joke

One of my juniors told a joke this morning:

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K: Where do a fish keep its money?
Mr. C: Where?
K: In the river bank.
Mr. C: That’s good, I like that.
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“Gay” Pencil?

Seniors:
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T: I need a pencil.
Mr. C: Here (hands pencil).
T: How you gon’ hand me a gay pencil?
Mr. C: I didn’t know pencils had a sexual preference, but okay.
T: Haha.
T: You handed me a hannah montana pencil.
Mr. C: Yeah? None of my male students complained when I handed them a hannah montana, or hello kitty pencil for that matter.
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