Real Problems

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M: I feel sick, I feel like I ate something wrong.
Mr. C: Uh oh. That’s not good.
M: Yeah, and my head hurts, and I feel like I got a gal pregnant.
Mr. C: Whoa, it just got real. You have a lot more problems than I thought.
M: Yeah.
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Swimming

1st Block:
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Mr. C: What are you guys doing this summer?
K: I need to get a job.
B: I wanna work at the YMCA.
Mr. C: What do you want to do there?
B: Be a lifeguard, but I can’t swim.
Mr. C: Well you’re going to have to learn how to swim if you want to be a lifeguard.
T: You can’t swim!?
S: I got threw in the pool.
K: Yeah that’s how I learnt to swim too.
T: I fell off the diving board and I almost drownt. I swimmed and gave up halfway.
K I got in my first fight in the pool. Some nigga threw me in the 10 foot, and I was like Ahh!
Mr. C: So you had to learn for survival?
K: Yeah! About halfway down I started moving my arms and that was a wrap.
Mr. C: Well that’s one way to learn.
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8th Grade

This is an older post I found from last year when I used to teach Culinary Arts and had 8th graders.
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Three of my 8th grade students did not finish their work and therefore I did not let them cook.
Two got mad about this.
They tried to leave the classroom.
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K: Can I go to the bathroom?
Mr. C: Do one question, and I will let you go. You haven’t done any work.
K: (pushes her stuff off the desk and pushes the desk.) Nah fuck that I’m leaving.
(she walks out the door)
As I’m writing her up, another students is cursing at another student and walks over to me.
R: How you going to write her up for not doing anything?
Mr. C: Mind your own business.
R: Don’t tell me what to do. You don’t tell us what to do. I’ll get the principal.
Mr. C: We can get the principal, and I’ll tell them how you’ve been acting.
R: I don’t give a shit about no principal.
Mr. C: Apparently.
K walks back in:
K: Don’t even try to write me up!
Mr. C: I did write you up.
K: Fuck you!
Mr. C: Okay.
K: Fuck you, fuck this school and fuck this work you just gave me. Fuck your skinny ass, ugly as hell.
Mr. C: Well I’m ugly, what can I do about it?
K: Fuck you.
Their Educational Assistant walks in and I explain the situation and they take them both to ISS.
K: Fuck this school (kicks a chair).
Mr. C: See you guys next time.
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