Yo Momma…

8th Graders:
—————
M: You slow.
J: How am I slow bra?
M: Yo momma slow.
J: Yo whole family slow.
M: Nah, I bet my momma make mo money dan yours.
J: Nah brah, I my momma gotta better job than yo mama.
M: What yo momma do?
J: She work at a health place.
M: What is dat?
J: It’s where you…I don’t know what it is bra but she makes alotta money.
M: She work wit old people?
J: Nah brah.
M: I was ’bout ta say my momma been done havin’ that job.
J: My momma make so much money I gotta be on reduced lunch in the cafertera.
——————–


Itty

2nd block with 8th graders:

A student takes a liking to my hat.

————-
L: Aw I like this, can I have it?
Mr. C: No.
L: Where you get it?
Mr. C: Chicago.
L: Do I look like I care?
Mr. C: I don’t know, you certainly just asked me where I got it.
L: You look itty today.
Mr. C: What?
L: Itty.
Mr. C: What does that mean?
L: Shitty.
Mr. C: Stop cursing.
J: No shitty aint a curse word.
Mr. C: Yes it is.
D: Nah, it mean “fresh.”
Mr. C: Hmm. Well just use itty I guess.
J: Shitty ain’t a curse, it mean it good. But If I say something like shut up you shitty ass–
Mr. C: Stop. No matter what the context is, you are still using the same word.
—————


You a veggie!

2nd Block with 8th Graders
————–

K: You got sarsages in here?
Mr. C: No, we will never cook with meat in here.
K: Oh I forgot you a veggie.
————


Fahrenheit 706

2nd Block with 8th Graders:
—————-
Mr. C:  Turn to page 706.
J: 706?
Mr. C: Yes.

(A few moments later)

D: What page is we on?
Mr. C: Page 706, I’ve now said that 3 times.
D:  There is no page 706, is you high?
Mr. C: Do you know your numbers? 1 2 3 4 5 6  706.
D: You tryin’ to burn.
Mr. C: I just did.
—————


Why is you late?

8th grade class:
My car broke down and I missed my first block class and was late to my 2nd block.
——————–
(I walk in the door)
K: Why is you late?
Mr. C: Well my car broke down on the way to work this morning, so I had to ride my bike here.
K: You rode a bike here? That’s petty.
Mr. C: Well I had to get here somehow.
K: Shit I woulda just stayed home and gone back ta bed.
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