Broken Nail Emergency

3rd block with seniors, very beginning of class:
S walks in.
S: Can I call my granny?
Mr. C: Why?
S: I just broke my nail, let me call my granny.
Mr. C: No.
S: It’s an emergency.
Mr. C: Breaking your nail is not an emergency.
S: My granny goin’ get mad at me.
Mr. C: Well you’re granny can’t do anything about your nail right now.
S: She gotta make an appointment for me.
Mr. C: I think that can wait until the end of class, it’s not that crucial.
S: Fuck this shit then. I’m gonna walk out.
Mr. C: Walk where? The office isn’t going to let you use the phone.
S: I ain’t doin’ no work today.
(She storms off and throws her book with her work on the floor.)
I walk over and help another student with their work and S walks over to my desk and proceeds to use the phone to call her granny.
Mr. C: S get off the phone.
I walk over and tell her once again to get off the phone.
S: No.
I unplug the phone from the wall.
S: Fuck this shit. She takes everything on my desk, papers, grade book, and pushes it off onto the floor and storms out.
Mr. C: S come back and pick this stuff up.
(She storms down the hall into the office.)
I call the office and tell them she is L.D.A. (leaving designated area)
I had to write her up for, LDA, defiance, disrespect, abusive language, and physical aggression.
Some of my students have very short tempers.
But they need to grow up.

No Dice

In Culinary Arts, dicing some onions.
K: Look at Mr. C, dicing them onions like a chef.
Mr. C: Yep. You know I used to teach this class last year right?
K: Oh.
D: You know how to cut real fast.
Mr. C: It takes practice, but you can learn to dice this way.
S: Dice that pussy.
Mr. C: No.
S: Haha.
Mr. C: You just had to make it sexual.


Bathroom break.

K walks out of the restroom.
Mr. C: You can go ahead and head back to the classroom.
K: What? (Walks up to me.)
Mr. C: I said you can go back to class.
K: Oh I didn’t hear you.
Mr. C: Well I will get some q-tips so you can clean out those ears.
K: Are you trying to be funny?
Mr. C: Trying?
K walks down hall.

White Flag

I asked some students that had wandered into my classroom to leave:
Mr. C: Alright come on guys, let’s get to class.
J: Let me tell you something straight up vegan man. What is that white flag you wearin’?
Mr. C: It’s a handkerchief; to wipe my nose.
J: Oh I thought you was representin’ somethin’.
Mr. C: Why would I wear any gang colors here, are you crazy?
J: Ha Ha. Aight we’ll go.