All About the Jefferson’s

Towards the end of class with my Juniors:
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R: I just want to meet Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, George
Washington, ya feel me Mr. C?
Mr. C: What?
R: What’s that dude on the fifty? I forgot his name.
Mr. C: Grant?
R: I ain’t never told you this before, George W. Bush came to my house
one time.
Mr. C: Where?
R: I was living in these projects in Illinois.
Mr. C: Yeah?
R: He just came up to the door and knocked on it.
Mr. C: Nah, he came up there for real?
R: Yeah I’m for real. When I was little.
He came up and knocked on the door, he got a little racism on him. We
stepped outside, and he shook my hand.
Mr. C: He shook your hand?
R: He looked like he didn’t really wanna shake my hand.
But yeah, that was the first president I ever met in my life.
Mr. C: Wow.
R: When I die, I want to meet all of them, and Thomas Jefferson.
Mr. C: Cool.
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Carrot Cake

During lunch:
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K: You want this?
Mr. C: The banana? Yeah sure.
K: Cause I don’t be eatin’ no fruits and vegetables.
Mr. C: I love fruits and vegetables.
B: Shit I could never be vegetarian.
K: I mean I’ll try it, but I cant be consistent with it. I gotta have me a burger.
Mr. C: I eat burgers, veggie burgers.
K: You need to come over to my house on a Sunday.
Mr. C: You need to come over to my house on a Sunday!
K: I bet if you…boyyyyy.
Mr. C: What?
K: My granny make some stuff that make a nigga never wanna be a vegetarian.
Nah Mr. C be like “Man I got this carrot cake.”
And I be like “What the hell is a carrot cake?”
It’s prolly something good I never tasted before.
Mr. C: Yep.
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Limp

S walks in with a limp:
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S: Damn man I gotta go to the hospital when I get home.
Mr. C: Why is that?
S: Cause I think I sprained my ankle.
Mr. C: Oh.
S: I ain’t been to the doctor yet.
Mr. C: What did you do to it?
S: I think I sprained it playin’ basketball at the house.
Mr. C: Oh yeah?
S: When I went up to dunk it, when I come back down it twisted like this right here, it went backwards and twisted, that shit hurt.
Mr. C: Ouch. I bet.
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Later S was walking without a limp but oddly had a limp again around other students and staff, a medical mystery.


False Teeth

Out of nowhere this conversation started:
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S: I’m gon’ get some false teeth bra.
Mr. C: Why would you want to do that?
S: I swear that would be some funny ass shit.
Mr. C: How?
S: Somebody could smack me in the back of the head real hard and make my teeth fall out.
Mr. C: That sounds terrible.
S: I be like “My teeth fell out cuz can you help me?”
Mr. C: Yeah but then you have to pick them up off the ground, and the ground is dirty.
S: Not if I’m in my house.
Mr. C: But the ground is still dirty.
S: Ah yeah, germs and shit.
Mr. C: Yeah.
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Strict Probation

S missed yesterday because they went to court.
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S: Mr. C you gotta help me stay out of trouble.
Mr. C: Oh yeah?
S: They got me on strict probation.
Mr. C: What does that mean?
S: Curfew 6 a’clock.
Mr. C: Man that’s early.
S: I wanted it, I wanna be in the house at 6.
Mr. C: To keep yourself out of trouble?
S: Yeah and they be searchin’ my room everyday.
Mr. C: Yeah?
S: When you see me doing something wrong. stop me.
Mr. C: Well you just have good behavior, that is up to you.
S: Yeah.
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Force Fed Pudding

One of my seniors brought some pudding into my class:
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J: Mr. C you want some?
Mr. C: No I can’t eat that pudding.
J: You need to start eating!
Mr. C: I do eat, just not that
J: Mr. C gon make me come over to his house and force feed his ass.
S: Haha, put a tube down his throat.
Mr. C: That is not necessary.
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Pills, Pills, Pills

After refusing to take their medicine in the morning:

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S: I ain’t taking no more pills in my life.
Mr. C: What about medicine?
S: I ain’t never taking any pill, prescribed, or not.
Mr. C: Well you have to take your medicine here at school.
S: Nah bra. I’m not smoking no more weed either.
Mr. C: Well that’s a good thing.
S: Every time I smoke weed, and I go to the hospital, somebody done laced it. Look at my tongue. It’s white ain’t it?
Mr. C: Yeah but that could be from anything.
S: The doctor looked at my tongue, and said it was white, and it’s cause somebody laced it.
Mr. C: I don’t really think that’s accurate.
S: All the pills at my house I had, I threw them away.
Mr. C: Were they all yours?
S: Yeah bra. I’m getting tired of people saying I’m overdosing on pills.
Mr. C: You can’t overdose if you take the amount prescribed. Did you take too many?
S: Nah, I took one and sold the rest.
Mr. C: Well they thought you took all of them. That’s why they had to take you to the hospital. It’s dangerous.
S: I didn’t take all those damn pills.
Mr. C: Well now the problem is that you were selling them.
S: Yeah.
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