Dope, Crack, or Dog Food

Over the intercom:
Principal: Miss M Please turn the heat off in the building.
K: Turn the heat off? Is she on dope, crack or dog food?

Tickle My Elmo

Before classes start, two students bump into each other:
L: Whoa bra hold up.
R: What?
L: You tried to tickle my elmo.
R: Shut up fat ass.
L: K, he tried to tickle my elmo.
R: I’m gon beat yo ass.
Mr. C: Get your folders and sit down.

Food Prejudice (Halloween Edition)

Juniors in Homeroom:
Mr. C: Did you guys get some candy for Halloween?
L: Yeah, but you can’t eat candy cause you a vegetarian.
Mr. C: What? I eat candy, as long as it isn’t made from animals. I dont know where you are getting your information from.
L: You ain’t no vegetarian, you a prejudice or something.
Mr. C: Ha. I’m vegan, so I’m a food prejudice maybe.

You Done Went Back to the Past

I was comparing two photos with the 11th Graders:
Mr. C: Does this photo look better in color or black and white?
P: Black and white. It makes it look all historic and shit, like you done went back to the 1980’s in the 1950’s.

Cookie Dog

3rd Block with Juniors:
T: I’m hungry.
Mr. C: Me too. That Oreo I got from Dasha helped tide me over though.
T: Uh huh.
Mr. C: Oreo’s are a vegan cookie by the way.
T: No it ain’t, it got dog in it.
Mr. C: You would eat a cookie if it had dog in it?
T: Prolly.