One Liners and Leftovers

These are all of the leftovers and one-liners I have had written down from the last 2 years teaching Culinary Arts and English here.
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C: Man I need to sleep.
I didn’t sleep all weekend.
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R: They had me hot bra.
That’s why I busted all the windows.
They had me hot.
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K: When that boy blow up that school, I’m gonna sue your ass.
That boy from Iraq, fuckin’ terrorist.
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J: I say this on my dead granddaddy.
I put this on Jesus.
I put this on God.
I ain’t gonna lie on God bra.
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K: Why you diggin’ in yo nose and shit?
R: I gotta booger in dat bitch.
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S: Where my boo thang at?
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D: Bra we gots to make that video bra.
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J: You know what the best food is?
That jail food. That spaghetti is on point.
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R: My name ain’t R in here, my name Bobby Filet.
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J: Man I need a suit so I can steal.
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M: They say when you drink kool-aid, that be the color you piss out.
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R: Is you from a human? Cause every human spose ta eat meat.
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I turn around and one of my students has filled a pitcher with water and had a bag of sugar.

C: You can tell I’m from the projects bra. (starts pouring a ton of sugar in the pitcher)
Mr. C: C! That’s gross, don’t pour sugar in there. No!
C: I’m black, I love sugar water.
Mr. C: I don’t care if you are black, that is too much sugar.
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J: This fuckin’ apron broke.
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Mr. C: What flavor ramen did you get?
R: Doody.
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J: Man I fixin’ to get a sprite and take a shit.
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J: How you gon rob a robber?
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Mr. C: Do you want to help R cook waffles?
J: Nah I fixin’ to take a shit.
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J: You use the bathroom but you didn’t clean it.
M: Sanitize it.
J: Sanitize your breath.
L: Sanitize your god damn lip.
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R: Bra I’m 17. I spose ta be in the 11th grade, but I got locked up. I missed 5 months of school.
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J: Your breath straight smell like a shitty diaper.
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R: Y’all be bullshittin’, I can’t go no week without drinking water. I straight drink my piss.
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Probation, Misdemeanors and Felonies

One of my students walked in this morning, and told me what happened last night.
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S: What day is the last day of school?
Mr. C: May 24th.
S: I’m not gonna be here for the rest of the school year.
Mr. C: Why?
S: I really violated probation this time.
S: I’m not gonna see you guys for a while
Mr. C: Why?
S: I’m gettin’ locked up.
Mr. C: For what?
S: I got caught with drugs.
Mr. C: What drugs?
S: Weed.
Mr. C: That is just a misdemeanor, and you are only 17.
S: I got another misdemeanor for the pipe.
Mr. C: That still is not enough for jail time.
S: And I gotta felony for breaking and entering.
Mr. C: That will do it.
K: S you be stuntin’
S: I got proof, I can bring it up here.
I gotta go to court today or tomorrow.
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When I spoke to their probation officer, I also found out the student stole a large amount of money.