M walks through the door and is excited:
M: Guess what Mr. C.
Mr. C: What?
M: They found my Dad.
Mr. C: Oh really?
M: Yeah.
Mr. C: Where did they find him?
M: The insurance company called my foster Mom, and they said they are going to call him and see when he is free so we can schedule a lunch or something.
Mr. C: that’s great Michael.
M: Yeah, and I got some questions I want to ask him.
Mr. C: I understand.
M: I haven’t seen him in 17 years.
Mr. C: That’s your whole life.
M: Yeah, I don’t even know what he looks like.

It is times like these that I feel for and really understand my students.

Carrot Cake

During lunch:
K: You want this?
Mr. C: The banana? Yeah sure.
K: Cause I don’t be eatin’ no fruits and vegetables.
Mr. C: I love fruits and vegetables.
B: Shit I could never be vegetarian.
K: I mean I’ll try it, but I cant be consistent with it. I gotta have me a burger.
Mr. C: I eat burgers, veggie burgers.
K: You need to come over to my house on a Sunday.
Mr. C: You need to come over to my house on a Sunday!
K: I bet if you…boyyyyy.
Mr. C: What?
K: My granny make some stuff that make a nigga never wanna be a vegetarian.
Nah Mr. C be like “Man I got this carrot cake.”
And I be like “What the hell is a carrot cake?”
It’s prolly something good I never tasted before.
Mr. C: Yep.


During lunch:
C: Quit chewin’ with yo mouth open, that’s disrespectful.
M: Yo face is disrespectful.
C: Yo titties disrespectful.
Mr. C: That’s enough.

Cheerios Promise

I was eating some cheerios after lunch:
S: Hey can I get some of those?
Mr. C: You just had lunch!
S: I know but I’m hungry. You ain’t gon share with me?
Mr. C: Just a little. (pours some into their hand).
S: I appreciate that Mr. C, even though I put my hands on you.
Mr. C: Well you have to make sure you don’t ever do that again. (Looks straight into their eyes.)
S: I promise I will never do that again.


On the way back from lunch.
R: My homey got killed today this morning.
Mr. C: You knew them?
R: Yeah, I had classes with him. We used to play basketball together.
Mr. C: What happened?
R: They said somebody came up and just shot him.
Mr. C: Geez.
R: Shot him like prolly 5 or 6 times.
Mr. C: That’s rough R. I’m sorry.
R: Yeah.

Jesus on the Side of the Road

Walking by some of the students at lunch:
P: Look Jesus cut his hair.
Mr. C: You don’t like it?
P: You look like one of dem junkies on the side of the road. Haha.
Mr. C: What’s that? (Cups hand over ear)
P: Nah I’m just playin’.
Mr. C: Oh okay, I thought you said something.

Thanks for Sharing

( A Senior went into the bathroom as some juniors went down to get their lunch with a teacher.  After waiting for a long time the senior came out of the bathroom as they were coming back up.)
Teacher:  Have you been in there since we went down to get our lunch?
S: Yeah, I had to take a shit.
Mr. C: Well thanks for telling everyone about it.
S: I don’t care.
Mr. C: That is obvious.
S: My stomach was hurting so you know.

You ain’t my Gal

A conversation overheard between two Seniors in the cafeteria during lunch:

(Student gets up from table and walks towards the door.)
S: Where you goin’?
J: I’m leavin’.
S: But we spose ta eat lunch together.
J: Fuck yo lunch. You ain’t my gal. (walks off)

Harsh. These boys can be brutal.

Yo Momma…

8th Graders:
M: You slow.
J: How am I slow bra?
M: Yo momma slow.
J: Yo whole family slow.
M: Nah, I bet my momma make mo money dan yours.
J: Nah brah, I my momma gotta better job than yo mama.
M: What yo momma do?
J: She work at a health place.
M: What is dat?
J: It’s where you…I don’t know what it is bra but she makes alotta money.
M: She work wit old people?
J: Nah brah.
M: I was ’bout ta say my momma been done havin’ that job.
J: My momma make so much money I gotta be on reduced lunch in the cafertera.