So Slow

My students started making fun of each other at the end of class:
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M: You slow.
J: How am I slow bra?
M: Yo whole family slow.
M: Nah, I bet my momma make mo money dan yours.
J: Nah brah, I my momma gotta better job than yo mama.
M: What yo momma do?
J: She work at a health center.
M: What is dat?
J: It’s where you…I don’t know what it is bra, but she makes alotta money.
M: She work wit old people?
J: Nah brah.
M: I was bout ta say my momma been done havin’ that job.
J: My momma make so much money I gotta be on reduced lunch in the cafertera.
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Whoopin’s

I overheard this conversation between my 8th Graders:
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J: Do you ever blink and your eyes water?
M: Yeah, when I get whoopin’s.
J: Yeah me too.
M: One day my momma whipped me and I (fart noise)
J: For real?
M: My farts been funky lately.
When I fart in the shower, it stinks.
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Young Junkie

One of my juniors told this story this morning:
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I knew this young junkie named D.

Young junkie came up to me, I was wit my Momma and my Granny, on the porch.
The porch about the size of these 3 tables.
I hopped off the porch, and I come down the steps.
Young junkie says “Hey you got a little 20 for me today?”
I walked past and say “What the hell?”
She walk straight up to my Momma and Granny and say “Y’all alone, y’all working?”
And I was like “Who is you? Get the fuck away from my porch!”
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Yo Momma…

8th Graders:
—————
M: You slow.
J: How am I slow bra?
M: Yo momma slow.
J: Yo whole family slow.
M: Nah, I bet my momma make mo money dan yours.
J: Nah brah, I my momma gotta better job than yo mama.
M: What yo momma do?
J: She work at a health place.
M: What is dat?
J: It’s where you…I don’t know what it is bra but she makes alotta money.
M: She work wit old people?
J: Nah brah.
M: I was ’bout ta say my momma been done havin’ that job.
J: My momma make so much money I gotta be on reduced lunch in the cafertera.
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