The 2 Million Dollar Vegan

Somehow the topic of veganism always comes up with my Seniors.
(J walks over to my desk)
Mr. C: What do you need J?
J: I need that 50 grand you owe me.
Mr. C: Pssh! I need 50 grand.
N: Would you stop working?
Mr. C: Maybe.
N: Today would be your last day.
Mr. C: Probably. I would say peace out. (jokingly)
J: Haha. You would go straight to Burger King and buy you a chicken sandwich.
Mr. C: Nope, I still wouldn’t eat meat.
N: What if somebody paid you 2 million dollars to not be a vegan?
Mr. C: I would act like I’m not a vegan for a day, and then go back to being vegan the next day.
N: That’s petty.
Mr. C: How would you know that I wasn’t still vegan?
J: Shit, I’d be spyin’ on your ass. Peeking in yo window and saying “Is he eating meat?”
Mr. C: That is what you would have to.


Why is you late?

8th grade class:
My car broke down and I missed my first block class and was late to my 2nd block.
(I walk in the door)
K: Why is you late?
Mr. C: Well my car broke down on the way to work this morning, so I had to ride my bike here.
K: You rode a bike here? That’s petty.
Mr. C: Well I had to get here somehow.
K: Shit I woulda just stayed home and gone back ta bed.