Momma’s Car

J walked into my classroom this morning:
R: You coming to the gym today?
J: Yeah but I need to get a fucking ankle thing.
R: Why?
J: I turned my ankle. Cause I jumped off the fucking roof yesterday.
Mr. C: You jumped off “the” roof. And why did you jump off a roof?
J: Cause I was trying to land on some bushes, but I landed on my
momma’s car instead.
Mr. C: And you turned your ankle?
J: Yeah.
Mr. C: Well that’s unfortunate.


Skating Like Bart Simpson

1st Block:

J: You see my shoes?
Mr. C: Yep they are skate shoes. I noticed them when you first got them.
J: Man my skateboard broke.
Mr. C: Oh yeah?
J: Either that or I need to tighten a screw.
Mr. C: Okay.
J: It’s cause I went off the roof onto a car.
Mr. C: (Thinking he is joking) What like Bart Simpson? In the opening of the show?
J: Yeah but I did it for real. And I didn’t fall. I went off the roof and rode down the windshield and then went down the hill in my neighborhood.
Mr. C: Wow.