These are all of the leftovers and one-liners I have had written down from the last 2 years teaching Culinary Arts and English here.
C: Man I need to sleep.
I didn’t sleep all weekend.
R: They had me hot bra.
That’s why I busted all the windows.
They had me hot.
K: When that boy blow up that school, I’m gonna sue your ass.
That boy from Iraq, fuckin’ terrorist.
J: I say this on my dead granddaddy.
I put this on Jesus.
I put this on God.
I ain’t gonna lie on God bra.
K: Why you diggin’ in yo nose and shit?
R: I gotta booger in dat bitch.
S: Where my boo thang at?
D: Bra we gots to make that video bra.
J: You know what the best food is?
That jail food. That spaghetti is on point.
R: My name ain’t R in here, my name Bobby Filet.
J: Man I need a suit so I can steal.
M: They say when you drink kool-aid, that be the color you piss out.
R: Is you from a human? Cause every human spose ta eat meat.
I turn around and one of my students has filled a pitcher with water and had a bag of sugar.
C: You can tell I’m from the projects bra. (starts pouring a ton of sugar in the pitcher)
Mr. C: C! That’s gross, don’t pour sugar in there. No!
C: I’m black, I love sugar water.
Mr. C: I don’t care if you are black, that is too much sugar.
J: This fuckin’ apron broke.
Mr. C: What flavor ramen did you get?
J: Man I fixin’ to get a sprite and take a shit.
J: How you gon rob a robber?
Mr. C: Do you want to help R cook waffles?
J: Nah I fixin’ to take a shit.
J: You use the bathroom but you didn’t clean it.
M: Sanitize it.
J: Sanitize your breath.
L: Sanitize your god damn lip.
R: Bra I’m 17. I spose ta be in the 11th grade, but I got locked up. I missed 5 months of school.
J: Your breath straight smell like a shitty diaper.
R: Y’all be bullshittin’, I can’t go no week without drinking water. I straight drink my piss.
In a discussion about current weather topics, New Orleans and Mardi Gras came up and we got off topic.
B: You been to New Orleans?
Mr. C: Yes.
B: You know how they make they spaghetti in new Orleans?
K: For mardi gras?
B: Yeah, they use that voodoo.
Mr. C: Mardi Gras can get a little out of hand.
B: They be doing stuff to they food.
Mr. C: What do you mean?
B: You know they spaghetti sauce?
K: Yeah. They put skulls in em?
K: They put roaches in them?
Mr. C: Why would they put roaches in them? They have to eat the food.
B: Nah, they put blood in there.
Mr. C: What?
B: You know when a girl get her period? They put that in there.
Mr. C: Who told you that?
B: They do! My cousin came back with spaghetti, and she told me.
Mr. C: How did she know?
B: She ate it and said it was good. That’s why I never touch spaghetti.
Mr. C: I think I would have heard about that.