Whoopin’s

I overheard this conversation between my 8th Graders:
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J: Do you ever blink and your eyes water?
M: Yeah, when I get whoopin’s.
J: Yeah me too.
M: One day my momma whipped me and I (fart noise)
J: For real?
M: My farts been funky lately.
When I fart in the shower, it stinks.
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Gas Mask

During a test.
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Mr. C: 5 minutes left on the test.
R: Guess what I bought the other day.
Mr. C: Tell me in 5 minutes.
(5 minutes later)
Mr. C: Okay the test is over I am going to come around and pick them up.
R: So guess what I bought.
Mr. C: What?
R: A gas mask.
Mr. C: Why did you get a gas mask?
R: I don’t know, somebody bought it for me. I said I might as well keep it, I got nothing else to do with it.
Mr. C: Okay.
R: I got it so when I smoke I don’t stink.
Mr. C: That makes no sense.
R: Nah I’m playin’, I stopped smoking in 2008, cause they found out I got cancer.
Mr. C: That is not true.
R: Nah but I see these little young dudes, bout 8 or 7, asking where the weed at.
Mr. C: Alright moving on.
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Listerine

8th graders making fun of each other:

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C: You need a leash for your breath cause yo breath stink.
J: I brush my teeth every morning bra.
C: You need to swallow some Listerine bra.
Mr. C: You don’t drink Listerine. Let’s get back to work.
D: Haha yeah, you don’t drink Listerine C, haha.
M: You tryin’ to drink some alcohol bra? Haha. Gettin’ drunk on some Listerine.
C: Man whatever bra.
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Wet Dog

8th graders:
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K: Mr. C, why do people say that when white people sweat, they smell like a wet dog?
Mr. C: Do you know what a wet dog smells like?
K: Nah. But, I’m just sayin’, my momma say, “It is too hot outside, these white people need to get inside befo they smell like a wet dog.”
Mr. C: Well it just means that people stink, because they don’t wear deodorant or they just have body odor, and it smells like a wet dog.
K: That’s triflin’
Mr. C: Yeah.
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