Cousins Cousins

Talking about Presidents and how some were related to others, we ended up on the topic of incest.

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T: I know a dude who went wit his cousin.
Mr. C: How do you know them?
T: Maurice, he went here.
Mr. C: How do you know that?
T: It’s his sister’s baby cousin Stacey.
Mr. C: Are they really cousins?
T: Yeah they cousins cousins. Like come ova yo house and eat stuff out yo fridge cousins. They didn’t know till tha baby came out.
Mr. C: Wow they had a baby?
T: Yeah and his baby got an extra finger, like fo real. No bullshtuff.
Mr. C: So if I see Maurice, I can ask him about having a baby with his cousin.
T: Yeah and ask him about tha finger.
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No, I’m black.

In the hall on the way to lunch:
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T: (opens door into hallway) Mr. C, are you going downstairs?
Mr. C: Yeah, we are going to lunch.
T: Can you get me some ketchup?
Mr. C: Sure, how many do you want? 2?
T: No, I’m black.
Mr. C: Okay… so 3, 4?
T: Gimme 6.
Mr. C: I’ll get you 7.
T: Okay.
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Tampon Pans

9th graders:
I ask one of my students to get a plastic spatula.
They walk by with a metal spatula.
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Mr. C: No, no metal spatulas.
L: Why?
Mr. C: Because metal on metal is bad. These are Teflon pans, and the metal will scratch off the Teflon coating.
L: Tampon?
Mr. C: No I said Teflon.
N: Oh I thought he said tampon pans.
Mr. C: No, and that doesn’t even make sense. Tampon pans? Really?
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White People Hair

Sitting at my desk, a student walks behind my desk and starts going through my drawers.

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Mr. C: What are you doing in my drawers?
(walks behind my chair.)
Mr. C: Why are you behind my chair?
(She takes her hand and brushes over my hair with it.)
Mr. C: What are you doing?
S: You got that white people hair.
Mr. C: Well I am white.
S: Haha.

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Lettin’ a hot one out.

2nd Block with 8th graders:

I sent a student to the bathroom and waited at the door for a long time. Long enough for another one of my students to need to go as well. He waited at the door with me.
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(Student walks super slow out of the restroom past a teacher who was waiting for another student.)
Mr. C: You were gone forever. Were you playing around in there?
C: Nah, I letta hot one out.
M: Yeah I gotta letta hot one out too.
Mr. C: Well go on.
M: Nah, I gotta wait for that teacher to leave the hall.
Mr. C: Why?
M: I can’t letta teacher know that I be doo dooin’.
Mr. C: What?
M: I don’t wanna teacher know I be goin’ doo doo.
Mr. C: Man, everybody doo doo’s.
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