Talking about Presidents and how some were related to others, we ended up on the topic of incest.
Mr. C: How do you know that?
In the hall on the way to lunch:
T: (opens door into hallway) Mr. C, are you going downstairs?
Mr. C: Yeah, we are going to lunch.
T: Can you get me some ketchup?
Mr. C: Sure, how many do you want? 2?
T: No, I’m black.
Mr. C: Okay… so 3, 4?
T: Gimme 6.
Mr. C: I’ll get you 7.
I ask one of my students to get a plastic spatula.
They walk by with a metal spatula.
Mr. C: No, no metal spatulas.
Mr. C: Because metal on metal is bad. These are Teflon pans, and the metal will scratch off the Teflon coating.
Mr. C: No I said Teflon.
N: Oh I thought he said tampon pans.
Mr. C: No, and that doesn’t even make sense. Tampon pans? Really?
Sitting at my desk, a student walks behind my desk and starts going through my drawers.
Mr. C: What are you doing in my drawers?
(walks behind my chair.)
Mr. C: Why are you behind my chair?
(She takes her hand and brushes over my hair with it.)
Mr. C: What are you doing?
S: You got that white people hair.
Mr. C: Well I am white.
2nd Block with 8th graders:
I sent a student to the bathroom and waited at the door for a long time. Long enough for another one of my students to need to go as well. He waited at the door with me.
(Student walks super slow out of the restroom past a teacher who was waiting for another student.)
Mr. C: You were gone forever. Were you playing around in there?
C: Nah, I letta hot one out.
M: Yeah I gotta letta hot one out too.
Mr. C: Well go on.
M: Nah, I gotta wait for that teacher to leave the hall.
Mr. C: Why?
M: I can’t letta teacher know that I be doo dooin’.
Mr. C: What?
M: I don’t wanna teacher know I be goin’ doo doo.
Mr. C: Man, everybody doo doo’s.