Cousins Cousins

Talking about Presidents and how some were related to others, we ended up on the topic of incest.

T: I know a dude who went wit his cousin.
Mr. C: How do you know them?
T: Maurice, he went here.
Mr. C: How do you know that?
T: It’s his sister’s baby cousin Stacey.
Mr. C: Are they really cousins?
T: Yeah they cousins cousins. Like come ova yo house and eat stuff out yo fridge cousins. They didn’t know till tha baby came out.
Mr. C: Wow they had a baby?
T: Yeah and his baby got an extra finger, like fo real. No bullshtuff.
Mr. C: So if I see Maurice, I can ask him about having a baby with his cousin.
T: Yeah and ask him about tha finger.

No, I’m black.

In the hall on the way to lunch:
T: (opens door into hallway) Mr. C, are you going downstairs?
Mr. C: Yeah, we are going to lunch.
T: Can you get me some ketchup?
Mr. C: Sure, how many do you want? 2?
T: No, I’m black.
Mr. C: Okay… so 3, 4?
T: Gimme 6.
Mr. C: I’ll get you 7.
T: Okay.

Tampon Pans

9th graders:
I ask one of my students to get a plastic spatula.
They walk by with a metal spatula.
Mr. C: No, no metal spatulas.
L: Why?
Mr. C: Because metal on metal is bad. These are Teflon pans, and the metal will scratch off the Teflon coating.
L: Tampon?
Mr. C: No I said Teflon.
N: Oh I thought he said tampon pans.
Mr. C: No, and that doesn’t even make sense. Tampon pans? Really?

White People Hair

Sitting at my desk, a student walks behind my desk and starts going through my drawers.

Mr. C: What are you doing in my drawers?
(walks behind my chair.)
Mr. C: Why are you behind my chair?
(She takes her hand and brushes over my hair with it.)
Mr. C: What are you doing?
S: You got that white people hair.
Mr. C: Well I am white.
S: Haha.


Lettin’ a hot one out.

2nd Block with 8th graders:

I sent a student to the bathroom and waited at the door for a long time. Long enough for another one of my students to need to go as well. He waited at the door with me.
(Student walks super slow out of the restroom past a teacher who was waiting for another student.)
Mr. C: You were gone forever. Were you playing around in there?
C: Nah, I letta hot one out.
M: Yeah I gotta letta hot one out too.
Mr. C: Well go on.
M: Nah, I gotta wait for that teacher to leave the hall.
Mr. C: Why?
M: I can’t letta teacher know that I be doo dooin’.
Mr. C: What?
M: I don’t wanna teacher know I be goin’ doo doo.
Mr. C: Man, everybody doo doo’s.