Catch Me If You Can

R started in on this:
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R: I missed my court date, when I brought that weed to school.
Mr. C: Oh yeah?
R: And I didn’t call or nothing. They said if you don’t call, you gon have to go to jail.
Mr. C: Why didn’t you call?
R: I’ll put it like this, the police gon have to catch me.
If its that serious, y’all have to catch me, and it ain’t easy.
All my life, the police ain’t never catch me.
Mr. C: They eventually will.
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Gas Mask

During a test.
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Mr. C: 5 minutes left on the test.
R: Guess what I bought the other day.
Mr. C: Tell me in 5 minutes.
(5 minutes later)
Mr. C: Okay the test is over I am going to come around and pick them up.
R: So guess what I bought.
Mr. C: What?
R: A gas mask.
Mr. C: Why did you get a gas mask?
R: I don’t know, somebody bought it for me. I said I might as well keep it, I got nothing else to do with it.
Mr. C: Okay.
R: I got it so when I smoke I don’t stink.
Mr. C: That makes no sense.
R: Nah I’m playin’, I stopped smoking in 2008, cause they found out I got cancer.
Mr. C: That is not true.
R: Nah but I see these little young dudes, bout 8 or 7, asking where the weed at.
Mr. C: Alright moving on.
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Lock Down, Locked Up

One of the Assistants was arrested during a lock down today.
From the students and rumors I have reason to believe that one of the students planted a bag of weed in their bag.
One of my students was very upset about this.
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K: They done got him locked up. They put some weed in a bag cuz.
All my real niggas is leavin’. If you go back downstairs, you tell my other teacher to kiss my nuts.
Mr. C: You know I’m not going to say that.
K: I ain’t gon’ listen to you. My homey been locked up.
Mr. C: I know, but standing out in the hall is not going to bring your homey back.
K: Yeah that’s true.
Mr. C: We are just going to have to wait and see what happens.
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Probation, Misdemeanors and Felonies

One of my students walked in this morning, and told me what happened last night.
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S: What day is the last day of school?
Mr. C: May 24th.
S: I’m not gonna be here for the rest of the school year.
Mr. C: Why?
S: I really violated probation this time.
S: I’m not gonna see you guys for a while
Mr. C: Why?
S: I’m gettin’ locked up.
Mr. C: For what?
S: I got caught with drugs.
Mr. C: What drugs?
S: Weed.
Mr. C: That is just a misdemeanor, and you are only 17.
S: I got another misdemeanor for the pipe.
Mr. C: That still is not enough for jail time.
S: And I gotta felony for breaking and entering.
Mr. C: That will do it.
K: S you be stuntin’
S: I got proof, I can bring it up here.
I gotta go to court today or tomorrow.
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When I spoke to their probation officer, I also found out the student stole a large amount of money.


Pills, Pills, Pills

After refusing to take their medicine in the morning:

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S: I ain’t taking no more pills in my life.
Mr. C: What about medicine?
S: I ain’t never taking any pill, prescribed, or not.
Mr. C: Well you have to take your medicine here at school.
S: Nah bra. I’m not smoking no more weed either.
Mr. C: Well that’s a good thing.
S: Every time I smoke weed, and I go to the hospital, somebody done laced it. Look at my tongue. It’s white ain’t it?
Mr. C: Yeah but that could be from anything.
S: The doctor looked at my tongue, and said it was white, and it’s cause somebody laced it.
Mr. C: I don’t really think that’s accurate.
S: All the pills at my house I had, I threw them away.
Mr. C: Were they all yours?
S: Yeah bra. I’m getting tired of people saying I’m overdosing on pills.
Mr. C: You can’t overdose if you take the amount prescribed. Did you take too many?
S: Nah, I took one and sold the rest.
Mr. C: Well they thought you took all of them. That’s why they had to take you to the hospital. It’s dangerous.
S: I didn’t take all those damn pills.
Mr. C: Well now the problem is that you were selling them.
S: Yeah.
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Cuckoo for C a n n a b i s

One of my students has just learned how to search for things on the internet and came across an interesting article.
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S: Hey Mr. C, what is  c  a  n  n  a  b  i–
Mr. C: Cannabis, it’s marijuana. What are you working on?
S: Ah they done gave him chocolate with weed in it.
Mr. C: Look, get your work finished and then you can look up drugs.
S: Okay.
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